When I hear the word leader, my mind automatically conjures up the image of a tall white man in a suit. Whether that is from the influence of social media or advertising, it is what I have instinctively come to associate with the word “leader.” However, that image has slowly begun to change in my mind as I experience leadership in different ways in my life. I have excelled under leaders that strove to actively support me. I have also struggled under poor leaders and took away important lessons as to how I could be a better leader and about the value of teamwork. There are some subtler leadership qualities that can’t be taught in a classroom, and which I have been trying to learn my whole life. By looking at and learning from so many different examples of leadership – good and bad – I have been able to develop my own style. One that relies on communication, unity, and empathy.
It is my belief that to be an effective leader you must first be a good listener. It seems unrealistic to me that anybody could lead without having a clear idea of a group’s needs and open communication with their team. I first learned this during my time as a counselor at my high school’s drama camp. There were a large number of young campers and older students like myself who were counselors; we were all supposed to coordinate on schedules and activities. It was the kind of camp that could have turned into a free-for-all with no order and everyone doing what they wanted. However, my drama teacher, who was in charge of the camp, excelled at communication. She started every day with a meeting to make sure that everybody knew what the day’s schedule was going to be. She made sure that everyone was informed and that there was no confusion about what we were supposed to do. The other key thing that she did was have a meeting at the end of the day. In that debrief, it was the counselors time to come forward with any comments or suggestions. I saw that everybody was heard and had their thoughts taken into account. I knew that she listened and cared about what I had to say, and I trusted and respected her for it. It showed me the value of listening to everybody around you and building and maintaining communication.
Not all of my experiences with leadership have been pleasant, and one particular encounter taught me the importance of teamwork. My freshman year of high school, I was on the girl’s volleyball team, an experience that I look back on with mixed feelings. I relished the game and genuinely liked my teammates, but my team captain gives the memories a bittersweet taste. My captain was a passionate and talented player, who struggled to see beyond her own skills. Instead of strengthening our teamwork, she was more focused on making sure that she was doing everything right. Rather than working with the team, she simply expected others to follow her example. It was a trying season and, over time, our captain became a distant figure that we could not trust and rely on. I learned a lot from that time, and saw firsthand the effects of a leader who does not work with their team and who lost the team’s trust. Without a central figure to convene around, my team fractured into smaller groups and eventually we lost any cohesiveness we had. The effects of a leader who lacked any teamwork skills were apparent through the whole season, and we never did reach our full potential. After that year, I moved forward with a promise to myself that my leadership style would include working with my team and fostering on unity.
Some qualities of leadership I have learned haven’t been big, showy displays. Some qualities are simple things that my parents have tried to instill in me since I first started speaking. Listening, empathy, and the ability to connect to other people are some of – if not the – most important qualities of leadership. And these are qualities I see in everyday life – not just from tall, white men in suits. I was raised to have perspective when interacting with people around me. My parents taught me that trying to understand another person’s point of view and where they are coming from is vital to forming relationships and creating connections. I think it is important to have perspective and that we look at the people we love and hold dear, and realize it is the same for everyone else. Knowing that everyone around us loves and is loved is a vital ability. If you only ever look at people as a means to an end or as tools, you will never realize their full potential or your own. If we can connect with the people around us and realize that all of them are important in some way, then we have the basis for leadership.
It is thanks to my drama teacher that the importance of communication when leading is cemented in my brain. I have also learned from people like my volleyball team captain, who struggled with teamwork, why unity and trust are essential to being a leader. I have my parents to thank for planting the seed of why empathy is so important, and continue to learn something new everyday from people who put this connectivity to practice in all walks of life. These are invaluable lessons that I have, and will continue to try to absorb into my own leadership style. And maybe, if I continue to practice these lessons, the image of a tall white man in a suit representing leadership in my head, will start to look a little more like myself.
